Chapter 6

After a second sleepless night of worry, fear, and guilt, Jayzu left his cottage as soon as the sun came up to resume his search. He had no idea where Charlotte was, and so no idea where to start looking. He had searched everywhere. More than once.

What if she is dead? He dismissed that thought immediately. The fragrance of a dead yoomun would be a beacon to many creatures who fed on dead things. Besides, what would kill her?

If she fell into the Boulder Ravine, perhaps. Unlikely that she had starved to death after only a day and a half. Or maybe she is hiding from me. But why?

After Jayzu had seen Russ and Jade off after the party, Jayzu approached his cottage and caught a glimpse of a figure bolting out the door and running into the woods. “Charlotte!” He had called loudly and ran after her, but she had disappeared into the thick forest. He had no idea which direction she had gone.

He wanted to enlist the the usual young crows that hung around his cottage—who probably know exactly where she was. But none was around. They probably had all followed her.

 Anger and fear commingled in his brain and heart. Why did she not stay at the Treehouse? He knew he had only himself to blame for the mess he had made. Charlotte was innocent—twenty-some years at Rosencranz and suddenly her world changed.

Why did I leave her alone on her first day here? I should have called the others and postponed the party. I could have postponed with the excuse that Majewski was not going to be there.

For almost two days, he ran to and fro, hither and yon, zig-zagging and at times running in circles. He called her name until he was hoarse. 

She could be lost. Or hurt. Surely the crows would have found her…IF she wanted to be found. Why would she have chosen to stay hidden? -he had asked himself a million times. Finally it dawned on him: She saw the portrait.

His heart skipped a beat. What if—what if she heard me telling Jade she had only imagined seeing Charlotte? He tried to dismiss that thought—Charlotte had stopped speaking English and presumably understanding it many years ago.

Presumably…

But what if…

Jayzu’s cellphone rang loudly from his pocket. He pulled it out of and grimaced. Majewski. Dammit. He had ignored Majewski’s previous calls, though he had read a text message from Majewski—

Alfredo—I must speak to you. No one can reach you, so I am starting to wonder if something has happened. Are you ill? Again, please call me or I will notify the authorities to begin a search for you.

He had not replied. Why did I not? I could have texted him back and said I was down with a stomach bug.

I need to find Charlotte. The last person I need to talk to now is her brother. 

“Hello, Thomas,”

“Oh, uh, hello Alfredo.” Father Superior Majewski’s voice said. “I almost hung up. I’ve called you numerous times—I was about to call the police.”

“And I am so sorry,” Alfredo said. “My phone has been malfunctioning of late. This is the first time I have heard your call.”

The Basic Lie.

“Have you received my texts” Majewski asked.

“No.” 

Basic Lie #1.2.

“Cell phone coverage has been very spotty lately.  At least that was true.

Alfredo felt something akin to fear at lying to his superior, the Provincial Father Superior of the Jesuit Order in America, however tiny the lie. As if he would know. As if he were God Almighty.

In fact, Majewski had more power than God over Alfredo’s life. As always. From the days Alfredo was a graduate student, and Majewski his committee chair all the way through the present moment and beyond, he had the power to control Manzi’s life.

If Majewski finds out that his sister is on the island…

Alfredo shuddered. First he would be de-frocked, or perhaps first arrested, tried, convicted and imprisoned. No, first he would lose Charlotte forever. She would be sent back to the asylum. To the impregnable Kafka Memorial.

Alfredo clenched his teeth. That will not happen. As God is my witness, I will not allow that to happen.

“Well, I’m glad to have finally reached you,” Majewski said. “I am in Ledford, finally.”

“Again, my apologies, Thomas,” Alfredo said, maintaining a calm voice in spite of the fear consuming his guts. “We missed you at the party.”

The party. Day before yesterday. Forever ago.

“I had intended to come,” Majewski said. “I was detained by the demands of my office. But they’re gone now and I’m here. You’ve heard my sister disappeared from Rosencranz.”

A new chill snaked up Jayzu’s spine. “Uh, yes, I did. It was in all the news. I am sorry, Thomas. Do the police have any idea where she is?”

“Not yet,” Majewski said. “She apparently just wandered off—she may be dead somewhere in the woods. They are nothing but a pack of incompetent boobs at Rosencranz.”

Dead in the woods.

“The police found a body,” Majewski said. “But it’d been in the river a few days, so I couldn’t positively ID it. I’ve undergone a DNA test—which will tell if it is Stella or not.”

The body. It. This is his sister he is talking about, for God’s sake! 

“So, I’m here in Ledford,” Majewski was saying. “Yesterday I drove out to Kafka Memorial, where Stella would be had they not lost her. I needed to pick up her personal effects, and to perhaps find out what the hell happened to her. The receptionist out there was the same one at Rosencranz when Stella disappeared. She told me some interesting things about a visitor on the day she disappeared.”

“Oh?” Alfredo said, eyeing the forest beyond his cottage. Charlotte is in there somewhere. I must find her. Growing impatient to end the call, he resisted the urge to just hang up and later claim bad cellphone coverage. 

“Yes,” Majewski said. “Extremely interesting. You might also be interested in what she is probably telling the police.”

“Why would that interest me?” Alfredo said. He suddenly felt weak in the knees.

“Well, the police are looking for this visitor—a doctor who had suddenly started seeing her a few weeks ago. Turns out, there is no such doctor. But she thought this fake doctor looked so much like you, that you could be twins.” 

“That’s interesting,” Alfredo said blandly. Jesuit training taught him that. Now matter the calamity, betray nothing on your face or in your voice. Like a corpse.

“Indeed,” Majewski said. “Coincidentally this doctor impersonator showed up shortly after I told you about her. But no matter! You’re a priest and the receptionist is a complete airhead, and I plan to throw water on that idea. However, I thought I’d give you a head’s up that the police may be interested in talking to you.”

Jayzu knees gave way and he sank to the ground. 

“I do need to see you on other matters, however,” Majewski continued, “concerning the Patua’. I’ve been researching the church archives from the 16^th century. Far more interesting to both of us than the whereabouts of my sister. Can you make it into town today?”

“Oh? You found mention of the Patua’ during the Reformation?” There was no way Alfredo could refuse. “Of course I am interested!” Next week maybe but not today, he wanted to say. “I will call the Captain and arrange for him to take me to Ledford. I’ll try to be there tomorrow—it depends on his schedule.”

“I was hoping to see you today,” Majewski said after a brief pause. “Text me when you’re on the way, and I’ll meet you at the Waterfront dock.”

Majewski rang off. 

Jayzu leapt to his feet.

I must find Charlotte.

In the dead silence of the forest, I crawled back to the pond—I desperately needed water. My lips were almost stuck together and my mouth had the most horrid taste. I nearly drowned myself before I realized how far I had plunged my face into the water. I came up gagging and choking, but the bitter foul taste in my mouth was gone.

Instantly, I fell asleep and into dreams I could not understand. I am swimming. Fish below me and birds above me keep me from sinking. Fireflies with long tails of light wave as if in a breeze. Tiny red and purple mouths opened and closed as they swallowed fireflies, tails and all. 

During the Great Corvid Council meeting to name a new Aviar after Hookbeak’s death, Charlie heard Charlotte’s special call for him to come—which he had not heard since before she went to Rosencranz. Though somewhat relieved, Charlie was quite startled to hear Charlotte’s call for him the way she did when she was a child.

“Charlotte is calling to me, and I think she is in some kind of trouble,” he said to Starfire quietly. “I must go.”

“Charlotte had been missing since she left the Treehouse the day before. She had just dropped out of sight sometime during the afternoon and had not been seen nor heard from since.

“I’ll send word to you when I locate her,” Charlie said.

“Fine,” Starfire said. “Go on—all that’s left here is the wing-slapping.”

The voting was over—Starfire had been elected Aviar, and the Councillors were selecting the Chief Archivist of the Lattices to replace Starfire. As Aviar, Starfire named Charlie to replace him as the Chief Archivist of the Great Lattice. Charlie was the obvious choice—there were no others. Starfire had some competition from the reactionary wing of the Council—headed by Wingnut. But his faction was of such a small minority that Starfire was elected by the vast majority of Councillors.

Charlie flew off toward Charlotte’s calls which, stopped abruptly within a minute. The island was small and Charlie knew every inch of it. He continued in the same direction and found her within moments. She was lying in the grass, with her eyes closed. She was very pale. 

“Charlotte?” he said as he landed next to her, hoping she was breathing. 

She blinked a couple times, then smiled and opened her eyes.

I am laying face up in the grass with the sun on my face. Someone called my name. A dark shadow darkened the sunlight for a second. Fear surged through me for a moment—until I opened my eyes.

“Charlie!” 

“It is I,” he said and nuzzled my cheek with his beak.

“Are you alright, Charlotte?”

“Yes, now that you are here,” I said and sat up. “I called and called for you—our special call that no one knows about. I am scared, Charlie. He’s after me, Charlie. I tried to get to my little island that only you know about but I couldn’t find it, and I kept hearing him coming after me.”

“Who was coming after you, Charlotte?” Charlie said. “Jayzu has been frantically looking for you since yesterday afternoon, and—”

“Who is Jayzu?” I asked frowning and shaking my head. “But Charlie—I’m so scared Tommy is coming after me. I need to hide from him.”

“Tommy your brother?” Charlie asked, tilting his head to one side. “But he is not here, Charlotte. He’s been gone for a long time.”

“He came back,” I said.  “Estelle called him. She hates me.”

“Charlotte,” Charlie said. “Tommy is not here. But Jayzu, he is—”

“Jayzu Jayzu!” I nearly yelled. “I don’t know Jayzu. But Tommy, he is real, and he is coming for me and I am very scared and I need to hide from him. Promise me you won’t tell Tommy you saw me!”

“I promise,” Charlie said. “But let me lead you to a safe place where Tommy can’t find you.”

“Yes!” I gushed and swept him into my arms. “Yes!”

Charlie rode on my shoulder and guided me to the Great Cliffs above the river—where he said the ravens roost. Most of the way was an easy walk, but I had to climb high up to the ledges. I skinned my hands and nearly lost my footing a couple times, but I finally crawled to a ledge—and I rolled away from the edge until my back was against the cliff wall. It was warm and solid and Charlie said I would be safe here. 

The ravens who lived in the cliffs are not friendly to yoomuns. So even if Tommy followed me, he wouldn’t be able to get up the cliff. The ravens would beat him with their wings, Charlie said, if he tried.

I lay there for awhile, resting in the warm sun-baked rocks, breathing relief that I had escaped Tommy. Charlie was speaking with JoEd, who had flown onto the ledge a few moments after I rolled to stop against the cliff wall. A very large raven swooped in and joined them.

Their droning voices and the warmth of the rock wall made me very drowsy. I heard them speak of Jayzu. Why does everyone keep talking about Jayzu? I was so sleepy, I could not stay awake to hear any more. I wish I knew who Jayzu is.

Who is this Jayzu? 

Starfire plopped down on the ledge next to Charlie and JoEd. Casting an eye toward the sleeping Charlotte, he said: “Finally I meet Charlotte, but she is asleep among the ravens. What is she doing here? Where is Jayzu?”

“He is looking for her,” Charlie said. “But she has no idea who Jayzu is. She seems to  be confusing Jayzu with her brother—and she is terrified that he will find her,” Charlie told JoEd and Starfire in a hushed voice.” 

“She has memory problems?” Starfire said.

“Yes,” Charlie said. “She remembers almost nothing before she was taken to Rosencranz. Her brother was the one who found her hiding before she was taken away.”

“ I see,” Starfire said. He waddled over to the sleeping Charlotte and bent close to her face. Noting her blue fingers, he sniffed her around her face.

“But why would her brother be trying to find her?” JoEd said. “How would he even  know she is here?”

“Chances are he doesn’t know where Charlotte is,” Charlie said. “But, Thomas—as I understand yoomun religious schemes—is some kind of Super Father over Jayzu, who is only an ordinary Father. So, even though both Thomas and Jayzu are Fathers, though her brother caused her to be taken to Rosencranz, and Jayzu helped her escape.”

“That just doesn’t make sense,” JoEd said. “Tommy is the bad guy and Jayzu is the good guy—I don’t understand how she could mix them up.”

“Go find Jayzu,” Charlie said to JoEd. “Just tell him that Charlotte is with me, and at the moment does not know where she is. She is deeply frightened and is confusing Jayzu for her brother Tommy. Do not tell him where we are just yet. Starfire and I will find out what has caused this memory lapse. Jayzu showing up right now would not be helpful.”

JoEd flew off. He called out “Jayzu” every few seconds until he heard a reply.

“Over here!” Jayzu called back over and over again until JoEd came to a skidding halt at his feet. “Found her,” he gasped and fell over.

“Where is she?” Jayzu said, “Is she all right?”

 “My zazu and Starfire are with her,” JoEd said as got back to his feet. “She’s all right except for being confused about where she is. And when.”

“What do you mean?” Jayzu said, frowning. 

“Well, for one she doesn’t remember you,” JoEd said. “And, she thinks her brother Tommy is looking for her. She’s very scared.”

Jayzu sank to the ground. I should have known something like this would happen–that Charlotte would get lost in time. Immobilized by guilt, he could do nothing but shake his head.

===

A car pulled into the driveway and honked. “I gotta go, babe,” Russ said. 

Jade rose up out of her chair, and he hugged her close. 

“I’ll see you in two weeks. Okay? I love you.”

“I love you too,” she murmured into his shirt. Two and half weeks. Almost three.

Anxiety crawled into her stomach as she watched the car drive away. She had not been alone since those days in her apartment in Ledford, where she painted herself into madness. Chloe and Smitty took her home to the farm. And Russ came along soon after she began her recovery and had remained her rock of stability ever since. 

Though she didn’t feel rock-solid anymore—not since Russ and Jayzu had denied she saw what she saw. And they ridiculed me too—Alfredo with his lies, and Russ who believed him.

Though unused to being without him, the farm had been where all her security resided for most of her life—but would it still be without Chloe and Smitty too?

Everyone is gone.

WillowB wove himself between and through her legs, making her smile. She bent to the floor and picked him up, all 15 pounds. “Of course you’re coming to the farm with me!” 

Cradling the cat in her arms, she held him close and said: “It’s just you and me now, WillowB.”

She folded the newspaper and put it in the recycling box. Which reminded her to call and have The Sentinel stop delivery for two weeks. And the post office to hold their mail.

Jade packed a two-week suitcase of clothing and other personal items, her ‘traveling art studio’ consisting of a metal box for her brushes, oil paint, turpentine, and linseed oil. A separate category of luggage included several canvases, a sketchbook, pencils, and her painting smock. Cat food and bed went into the WillowB bag.

She looked forward to painting while at the Farm—a complete change of scenery, yet still familiar. And still home. I will title it ‘Going Home’—or perhaps ‘Coming Home’.  In either case, though she was completely angry with Russ for selling her out to Alfredo, and to be gone while she dealt with Smitty’s death without him.

Ever since Mrs Flanagan called, Jade had felt waves of longing for the farm where she had grown up. Where Smitty and Chloe had been the only parents she had ever known. Gone now, both of them. Smitty’s death a few days ago, and Chloe five years before.

Was it mere coincidence that Smitty had died the day she had seen her mother on the island? As if he somehow knew, and left my real mother a space to step into my otherwise orphaned life?

She closed all the windows, loaded up all the things she was taking to the farm. WillowB would ride in his travel carrier buckled into the passenger side of the back seat. He did not go placidly.

“We’re going to the farm, Mr B,” she said. “You love it there and it’s not that far, so just chill, okay?”

She wanted to call Russ, but he was on an airplane. With Vin.

After winding through the streets of their subdivision, she turned onto University Boulevard toward the Bridge Street ramp where she joined the line of cars heading toward Downtown. The river sparkled under a clear blue sky, while Wilder Island brooded in the dark shadows of its forests. Even when the sun was high in the sky, the trees allowed very little light in.

“You are in there, I know you are, my Mother,” she said out loud to the island as it passed. “Even if Russ doesn’t believe I saw you. I will find you, as God is my witness, I will find you again.”

Jade wasn’t quite sure which God she invoked; it wasn’t Alfredo’s God, that was certain.

Most of the cars took the 1st Avenue exit from Bridge Street into Downtown, toward the numerous high-rise buildings of glass and steel that rose like sparkling jewels from the otherwise flattish landscape. A few more cars exited at West Ledford, heading for the huge Farm and Tractor Supply mega-store.

Beyond Ledford’s city limits, Bridge Street reverted to its former name, in the days before there was a bridge: County Road 12N. Passing by junk yards of old, rusty cars, she thought of Sam, who took the old relics of modern America, chopped them up, welded them back together into wonderful sculptures.

This is his art-supply store.

Few people would ever see Sam Howard’s most breathtaking piece, rising from a small pond near the hermit’s chapel on Wilder Island. Comprising stainless steel and rusty parts of god-knows-what—the waste products of human enterprises—the rusting steel sculpture managed to call forth the divine presence within all living things. 

She had rarely if ever felt that so acutely.

Farm & Tractor Supply marked the end of urban civilization. A few patches of trees, the ruins of an old farmhouse with its rusting tractor gave way to mile after mile of cornfields on both sides of the highway, as far as the eye could see. Jade never tired of the patterns the rows of corn made as they marched up and down, first going one direction, then another.

A few trees congregated here and there around the occasional farmhouse, and lined the network of streams that headed toward the big river. Every mile or so, she passed a group of small white signs whose print was too small to read going by at 60 mph. But the logo was distinctive: AgMo, the farming conglomerate. She’d seen a plethora of their ads on tv. 

“AgMo’s bought up pert near all the farms around us,” Smitty had told her at Chloe’s wake five years ago.

“There was a lot more forest here when I was a kid,” she had told Russ when they’d first met. “And a lot more farms, but they were much smaller then. And patches of woods all in between everyone’s places, not just an occasional tree here and there.”

“Maize,” she heard Russ’s voice. “The proper term is maize, babe. Only Americans call it corn. The rest of the world calls this plant maize. Corn is a generic term for cereal.”

“Yes, Dr,” she had replied, grinning. “Maize.”

She liked to tease him sometimes about the very thing she loved about him. He was truly a geek—he knew a lot about a bunch of things, and freaking everything about plants. All the stuff she never had given a thought to. He brought her these little gifts of knowing, things she never knew about the things that grow in the ground.

Maize.

A shadow eclipsed the happy memory as reality struck. Today, Russ was with someone else. Someone who isn’t crazy. Someone who probably never had to be told what maize is.

They’d made up, more or less, after their last argument. Jade wasn’t really jealous of Vin, not in the usual sense at least. Short, stout, and “not as pretty as you,” Russ had said. But Vin could speak his language. Science. A conversation she could not participate in.

He doesn’t speak my language either. I don’t inspire him. Vin does. What if—

That thought frightened her.

What would I do without him?

Starfire finished his inspection of Charlotte and returned to Charlie.

“She’s eaten mildornia,” Starfire said. “In an amount sufficient to throw her into her lattice. Mildornia has evidently transported to a previous time before she met Jayzu. We will have to fetch her back, I reckon.”

“Yes,” Charlie said. “I smelled mildornia on her when I found her. And her lips were a bit stained until she drank some water.”

“Where did you find her?” Starfire asked Charlie. There is but one mildornia bush on the island. If she somehow found it…

Not even Charlie knew where the sole mildornia bush grew. Only the Chief Archivist knows. There hadn’t been time for Starfire to transmit its location since Charlie had only been appointed to take over the Archives a couple hours ago. He also needed to be taught how to make the mildornia ferment from the berries—which was used extensively in the Keeper sessions, where important information was emplaced in the Great Lattice shared by all. If you know how to access it though the Mildornia Trance…also invented by the ancient Patua’.

“Next to a pond,” Charlie said. “In the Deeps.”

“Truly?” Starfire glanced at the sleeping Charlotte. “I would not have believed a yoomun would be able to get that far into the Deeps.

The Deeps was a section of the forest that was much more overgrown than the rest of the island. Rodents and other ground creatures made a good living, while not being exposed to the owls or any other predator that moved about above the shrub line. There were no snakes on the island to trouble their existence. Once any rodent stuck so much as a whisker outside of the Deeps, it was a goner.

The Deeps is where the only living mildornia Starfire knew of within a days flight. None of the ground creatures or birds ate the fruit—due most likely to it hallucinatory properties—as well as it tasting perfectly awful. So the bush was safe enough—but ancient and solitary.

Mildornia was a hybrid the Patua’ had bred many centuries ago, of the type that is incapable of producing mildornia offspring. If in the unlikely but still possible event that a rogue berry could, all new mildornia must be grafted from another living plant. As this was beyond the capabilities of the corvids, the Chief Archivist’s duties included caring for the one Mildornia Bush.

“Will she snap back into the present when the mildornia wears off?” Charlie asked.

“Probably,” Starfire said. “When the Keepers come out the Mildornia Trance and the Archival Lattice, they return to their own minds—with no memory of what they did under the trance in the Archives.”

“So when Charlotte wakes up, she won’t remember hallucinating that Jayzu was her brother Thomas?”

“That is my guess,” Starfire said.

“It is good that she remembered her brother Tommy and how he chased her down and took her to Rosencranz,” Charlie said. 

“Why did she confuse Jayzu with her brother?” Starfire said. “It seems to me they are polar opposites.”

“That is odd,” Charlie said. “Perhaps that is because they are both what yoomuns call ‘Fathers’—which are designated yoomuns that have some special connection to their deity that other yoomuns presumably do not have. Tommy—or Thomas—is also Jayzu’s superior. He’s a sort of Aviar over the Fathers, I supposed.”

“I see,” Starfire said. 

“But something else might have spooked her,” Charlie said. “As if she suddenly stopped trusting Jayzu and she ran off and hid from everyone and everything…except me, thank the Great Orb.”

“Truly,” Starfire said. “I am perplexed though, as to how she was able to stumble upon the Mildornia Bush. I wonder how many berries she ate?”

“We will ask her when she wakes up,” Charlie said. “It is fortunate that her memory was jolted by eating the berries—which are rather inedible. Memories of most of her life seem to be lost…but if mildornia could unlock those times…suppose that I and/or a Keeper went under the trance tethered to Charlotte—could we reconnect the pieces of her memory with her lattice?”

“Interesting idea,” Starfire said. “We will need to research how or if the Patua’ used the ferment for such purposes, and the appropriate yoomun dose. Meanwhile, I am going to fly to the Mildornia Bush and inspect the area. I am most intrigued as to how Charlotte found it.”

I woke up disoriented, stretched out on the warmth of very hard rocks, leaning against a cliff. A bolt of fear rose up inside me, until I saw Charlie and a very large raven nearby talking to each other in hushed voices.

I sat up. “Charlie? Where are we?”

The crow waddled over to me, fixing his familiar blue eyes on me. As if he was smiling.

“We are on the Raven Cliffs above the river,” he said.

“Oh,” I said, frowning. “I remember climbing up the rocks to this ledge, and before that running scared through the woods with you on my shoulder telling me where to go. Running scared. But I don’t remember the cliffs or the large river below. I remember a small steam near my house, and the tiny island where I hid from Estelle, usually. Until that day she called Tommy.”

I looked into the dark woods nearby. “Did we shake him? Is he still following me?”

The raven joined us before Charlie could answer me.

“Charlotte,” he said, gesturing toward the raven with his wing, “this is Starfire, Aviar of the Great Corvid Council here on Cadeña-l’jadia.”

The giant raven bowed low with one wing stretched out parallel to the ground. “Greetings, Charlotte! I am pleased to meet you.”

I wondered if I should jump up and curtsy—so regal was this raven. Instead I brushed my hand across his wing. “Likewise I am sure,” I said. “But what about my brother? Is he gone? Did he follow us?” I wanted to crawl to the edge and look around, but the Charlie and Starfire blocked my way.

The two birds looked at each other for a moment. 

“Charlotte,” Charlie said and laid a wing on my arm. “Your brother is not here.”

“Oh, that is a relief!” I said. “I was afraid he would catch me and take me away.”

“Charlotte,” Charlie said a bit more firmly. “Your brother Tommy has not been here—not for many weeks. It was your friend Jayzu that was looking for you, but he does not want to take you away.”

I stared at him, frowning. “What?” I shook my head. “No, Charlie. He is here. He was chasing me and shouting my name and I ran from him. I ran and ran until I couldn’t hear him calling me anymore.”

“That was Jayzu,” Charlie said.

“Jayzu,” I said, shaking my head. “You keep saying Jayzu. I do not know him.”

Russ looked down at the landscape, thousands of feet below their ascending plane. A massive grid of cornfields cut by roads every mile in all directions, and occasional meandering streams and rivers.

Jade’ll be on her way to the farm about now.

The farm had been home to Jade her entire life, until he married her. He knew Jade had many happy memories of the place. And of Smitty and Chloe. As did he.

Over the years since they had gotten married, they had spent a few nights in her old bedroom room that had been left virtually intact. Jade had touched every single object on her dresser and had solemnly told him of the significance…of the ceramic jar full of buttons she had collected as a child: her favorite rock, the photo of her and Chloe and Smitty which needed no explanation.

Since the first days of their courtship he had not wanted to live without her. It’s not just that she washed his clothes, cooked dinner, and loved him in all the wifely ways. He did all the husbandly things—providing a good living, taking out the trash, getting the oil changed on the car, lighting the pilot on the furnace, making her feel safe.

He’d thought they were a perfect match. She was pretty high maintenance, though. Especially the last few weeks—she had been a royal pain in his ass. Right when I need to be focusing on my tenure review coming up, she decides to go nuts about her mythical mother.

Sure, he felt sorry for her, but it wasn’t exactly like she was an orphan. From everything she had said about her childhood, Chloe and Smitty were freaking saints. Everyone would be so lucky to have parents like that.

In the end, what had kept him from ever seriously considering leaving her was the one thing that everyone searches for forever and many never find:

She loves me.

“Speaking of lighting the lonesome darkness,“ Vin said, as if she heard his thoughts. “You’re fortunate to be married to an artist—I’m sure she helps balance out that rigid science brain of yours.”

Russ laughed.

“She is an amazing painter,” he said. “Though hard to live with sometimes. And I am not rigid.”

“Right,” Vin said with a snort. “So, what’d you do now to piss her off?”

Russ laughed. “How did you know I did something?”

“I wasn’t born yesterday,” Vin said. “I’m very observant. Now spill it. What did you do?”

“Well,” Russ sighed. “I told her that I had given a specimen of Jadum wilderii to you, and she had a cow.”

Vin frowned. “Why’d she have a cow over that?”

“Because she wanted me to have given it to her.”

“So why didn’t you? You did collect more than one specimen, right?” Vin said.

“Well, yes, but —”

“Did you give her one?”

“No, but—”

“But what? You named this amazing never-before-seen, rare flower after your wife, and then you give to another woman.” Vin said, shaking her head and frowning. “Are you insane?”

“What?” Russ said. “I told her you ripped it apart to study it. It wasn’t like I was giving you a romantic gift. I told her I’d get her another one as soon as we get back from Ecuador.”

He did not tell Vin that he had to abandon Jade to attend her foster-father’s funeral alone. Nor did he tell her that Jade hallucinated seeing her mother on Wilder Island.

Vin’s cell-phone went off. “Hold that thought,” she said as she answered. “It’s my wife. I bring her all sorts of specimens from my work. She loves them all.”

Russ frowned, trying to imagine what sorts of specimens.

“So, why didn’t you give her one of the other specimens you collected?” Vin said after she rang off.

“I need them for research!” Russ said. “I had no idea that naming a possible new orchid after my wife was a very special gift. I just don’t get it.”

“And now you’re flying off to South America with the ‘Other Woman’?” Vin said, shaking her head and glaring at him. “The woman who tore her flower apart.”

Russ sighed. “I guess I never saw it quite like that.”

“Guess not,” Vin said. “It takes more than binoculars.